Love, Sex, Tourism and Looking for the Truth

Lugu Lake is a beautiful lake, but the main attraction for the many tourists who pour into the area despite the 6-hour bumpy bus ride is the area's Mosuo minority- the so-called last matriarchal society in the world, as the tour guides will tell you.

What sells here is Sex, or the idea of Sex.

The Mosuo minority traditionally practice "walking marriage", ie. the men will visit his partner at night, spend the night, and leave early next morning. Both men and women live in their parent's homes throughout their lives, they never get married, and never move in with each other. Both men and women can have multiple partners throughout their lives.

Hey, that sounds like sex without responsibilities!

This aspect of their culture, needless to say, captured both public fascination and tour operator's business minds.

"Come here to Lugu Lake, a paradise for Love (and hint, hint, sex)."

"Remember to try out walking marriage!" Tour guides will joke around and say, equating walking marriage to one-night-stands.

I heard a lot of contradicting things about the Mosuo people before arriving, "they used to live in tree houses, and men will climb up the trees to see the women"; "if they tap your palm with their fingers, it means they want to sleep with you" etc.

Sounds like the Arabian Nights.

It was difficult to tell what's real and what is just people exotify-ing, and being stupid.

Fortunately, I was able to find this book by Hong Konger, Chou Wah-shan 周华山, who spent more than a year in the area doing ethnographic study.

《无父无夫的国度?》
作者： 周华山
2001

His view of the Mosuo culture seems a bit overarchingly positive, but it still seem to be the most objective book I can find out there. Here's what I learnt from the book:

Love & Sex in a Collective Society

Walking Marriage might sound like sex without responsibilities, but in this traditional collective society, any such irresponsible behaviour will put you under immense social pressure.

In more traditional areas, couples don't hold hands in public, they don't even walk together in public!

Walking Marriage is a stable, serious, monogamous relationship, just without the "forever and after" public commitment. The Mosuos can be in many, a few, or just one relationship throughout their lives.


Women/ Mothers: Continue the Family Lineage

Bloodline is carried down on the female side, if no one in the extended family gave birth to a girl, the family will worry that the lineage will be broken.

In his book, Chow mentioned a woman Yajiama, she was the no. 10 after 9 brothers. The whole family was exhilarated for the bloodline will not be broken, but this also denies her freedom to marriage in the traditional sense.

Yajiaman rejected her first man who asked her to marry him. She knows she needs to continue the family lineage. In the end, she engaged in walking marriage with a few other men and gave birth to 10 children.


Men: Important not as fathers, but as uncles

Though outsiders often classify the Mosuo as a matriarchal society, men are not inferior to women, they also hold a high status, but as uncles, not as fathers. Both elderly men and elderly women hold very high status in the families.

Men are also decision makers in their families, but only in the families they grew up in, not in the families of their children.


Family: No more in-laws!

So no one has in-law problems. Hey, you don't even live with your wife.

Mosuo people remain with their blood-related families throughout their lives, meaning the decision-makers in the family are the mothers and their brothers (the uncles), and together, they take care of the women's children, no matter who the biological father is.

Children are raised and disciplined collectively by the whole family. All the adults can discipline the children. If a family has 3 sisters, 2 brothers and a child, the child has like 5 parents...goodness.

There is very little concept of private ownership of children, i.e., when one sister give birth to a girl, the other sisters no longer have the pressure to give birth, as the family already as an heir.

When the family already has too many children, say if one sister already gave birth to 3, the other sisters will make adjustments, using contraceptive methods to avoid pregnancy and therefore more financial burden.


Changes

During the Cultural Revolution, the Mosuos are forced to adopt the husband-wife system. Nowadays, they are free to choose whichever system they prefer.

In Chow's survey involving 300 Mosuos living in 8 villages:
27% are engaged in walking marriage
9% are married
23% cohabit
41% are single

Among those 300 interviewees,
14% are in favour of marriage
24% are in favour of walking marriage
62% said it depends on the situation

In general, for those who live in cities or want to move to cities, or for those who are in relationships with non-Mosuo people, they are more likely to get married for practical reasons. There are also more men than women who are in favour of marriage (in order to benefit from the patriarchal system according to Chow's analysis).

Tourism has changed the Lugu Lake area a great deal, it brought in money which the community wisely responded with cooperatives that collectively deal with everything tourist-related.


Sounds Great! Should I just switch over to Walking Marriage?

For us outsiders, some think it feels insecure not to have a lifelong promise made to them. On the other hand, some think it's just a realistic way in approaching relationships (look at the divorce rate!), and some think that without the pragmatic burdens (Mortgage! In-laws!)that often come with marriage, this system frees you to real romance.

Hey, it does sound like the new saviour to our broken system of marriage. And whatever insecurities that come from not having a man (or a woman's) promise is more than made up for in the securities you get from living with and being provided for by your blood-related family.

The thing is though, it only works well in a collective society. Personally, I like my freedom. I'm just not a big fan of collective societies.

高山症与破相的关系

係咪係冰川爬山时遇上雪崩，逃亡間受伤？
係咪坐係一架嚴重超載嘅貨車上，翻車跌落山邊撞伤？

都唔係。

係係廁所撼親。。。

在梅里雪山徒步８小時到雨崩，行程開始時還自告奮勇地幫同行的肥仔背背包。當晚全身發抖，以為是感冒，吃了一點感冒藥好像沒事。第二天又步行８小時，先到神瀑然後原路折返。晚上再次全身發抖，頭暈。躲在被子裡時突然想吐，好不容易及時跑到廁所裡，猛地把頭伸到廁所上，前額碰上廁所板也沒有去理會，只知把晚餐吃的毛牛火鍋全吐出來了。在廁所出來後，同行伙伴驚訝地問我為何前額流這麼多血，才知道鼻樑上割開了這麼一大塊。後來伙伴提醒才想到是高山反應。

高山反應都唔知，然後係廁所都可以撼成咁， lee D 咁低能嘅嘢係我先做得出．．．:p

不過梅里雪山係幾靚嘅。























Kai Kai 唔駛驚凹鼻啦，我陪你 :)













A Happy Solution: Happy Band-aid!

Why Blogging is Bad for (at least one type of) Traveling

Traveling alone used to be a kind of total isolation; it was about being taken out of context; about self-reflection, self-examination; about checking out how I'd behave in a different environment, without familiar things and familiar people.

This time though I've noticed, with readers of this blog in mind (however small the readership may be), it has been a little different. It has been more about crafting words than weaving thoughts; It has been more about being concise and to the point than about being in-depth-- my thoughts are not as free to wander, worrying about sidetracking. I am still connected to my own world through the net, and therefore have been looking at a foreign culture while still referencing my own (and my reader's) context, instead of being at lost, completely out of my comfort zone, and therefore able to encounter a self that I'm completely unfamiliar with.

But then again, this time, I'm organizing my thoughts as I travel, and I get to share what I saw with my friends. Unlike before, when it was difficult to talk about things I've experienced during my travels, because thoughts were not compartmentalized and put to words as things happened, and because things were so unexpected, and therefore too personal. --Those previous experiences remained something I keep to myself, something only I can understand, eventually turning into a memory that seems a bit surreal probably because it's been a bit romanticized.

Baoshan Stone City 保山石头城

Baoshan Stone City is not really a city. It's a town of 100+ families perched on top of a rock outcrop. With city walls built around the already steep cliffs surrounding the town, the city was secure from attacks of mountain thieves in the past, and for now, has capped the number of families living in the town (at 108 homes, some books say.)

It's an 8-hour bumpy bus-ride away from Lijiang. Because it was low season, I was the only tourist during the 3 days I was there. I took some time walking around town, absorbing the view of the city from all angles, taking it slow, reading, talking to people, and after 3 days, I became a bit too attached.

They told me 9 out of 10 newborns here are boys, and it does look that way walking around town. It's also a real scatological disaster, with pigs, horses and chickens free to wander around the stone-paved alleys. Every evening, after a day of labour, people gather at the south and north gates on their way home , talking about corn, pigs, and anything else that comes to mind. An old man motioned for me to go over and offered me a freshly picked walnut, another old lady offered to open it for me by hammering my walnut with a piece of rock.

My last evening there, I sat at the north gate reading. Looking across the river valley, I know the second house up the mountain from the river belongs to Mr. He, a jolly man who took me across the valley and back on the rapid waters of the Jinsha River in his black rubber boat. The mountain ranges further away are the ranges that the nice man who trades an expensive fungus climbs over everyday, from daybreak until 3 in the morning sometimes, and then again at daybreak. He is also the nice man who guided me down the slippery trail to the river.

I continued with my book and before I managed to read another chapter, someone I recognized walked pass.
喂,你去哪? ("Yo. Where are you going?") I asked.
喂,去赶马.("Hey. Just taking the horses out.")
It's the young man I met yesterday, friend of the bus driver.
A chapter later, he came back through the North gate.
走吧！"Let's go." He said. To where exactly I don't know, but happy about being considered a friend, I just followed.

We walked pass the door of another young man I have met, squatting in front of his house. He came along and eventually offered to take me to a place. We sat down at the top of some stone steps, and as night fell, more and more people gathered. This is where old people come hang out everyday until 11 before they go home to bed, the young man told me.

A stone city with 108 (?) families. An ensemble movie involving the same characters in a new episode everyday.

The morning before I left, I went to say goodbye to everyone I've met in these 3 days. There's Grandpa Mu who used to build houses and make furniture, but have now discovered an alternate calling in making small sculptures for the occasional tourist; there's my sweet hostel keeper who fixed all my meals and told me she probably married too early; her sister-in-law who became deaf from meningitis at a young age and therefore did not marry and remained at home. All of them did not seem to care as much about my departure as I did. Afterall, I'm only the occasional tourist that chanced through, someone who doesn't belong to the movie.

On the way back to Lijiang, one of the town's young man who was also going to Lijiang asked me to get a drink with him. He is a talker, but quite a dull one, so I wasn't particularly interested in hanging out with him, but I did anyway, wanting to extend the connection to the stone city of Baoshan for just a little longer.





Traveler information:

Buses: Buses departs almost everyday at the Xiangshan Market 象山中央市场. Since the buses are private, whether or not there's a bus and at what time is up to the drivers. It's best to call Mr. Mu , the driver (tel: 135-7837-1814) ahead of time. 30-35 yuan + 160 yuan for entering the Yuelong Snow Mountain area. If you've already done that trip, may be you can try giving them your old ticket? Not sure if it works. Many also make special arrangements with the driver paying him a small fee and then hiding behind a local :p.

If you have rented your own car to get there, you can of course do both Yuelong Snow Mountains (the fake lime steps are on the way) and Baoshan Stone City all in one trip with the same entrance tickets.

Hostels: The driver will probably try to get you to stay at his hostel. It has decent rooms both with or without bathrooms, all facing the Jinsha River Valley. Around 30-50 yuan. When I was there, the showers weren't very hot. Meals around 5 yuan.

There's also a few other hostel in town, one is Mujia Hostel. Rooms are around 30 yuan (Bathrooms not attached to the rooms) and 15 yuan for a bed. Some rooms also have a view. Meals around 10 yuan.

Both places can arrange for guides to nearby caves, and for the 3-5 day hike to Lugu Lake.

Crossing the River: If you'd like to cross the river and climb halfway up the mountain to get a panoramic view of Baoshan Stone City, you can contact Mr. He (tel: 135-7837-2338), a very nice man who operates the rubber boat across the river for around 15-20 yuan each way. He can also arrange for lunch at his home, which is half way up the mountain and has a view of Baoshan Stone City. This is a half-day trip if you rise early. After arranging for a boat, you'll need to first get to the river. Go out of the north gate (at the bottom of the city), go down the stone steps on the left, turn right at the end of the steps, and descend the hill towards the river. The path isn't very obvious, so you'll need to make a few guesses if you're not with a local (like I was) and if you don't want to hire a guide. Some parts of the trail you'll need to get on all fours, and it's very slippery during rainy season.

Trail around town: It's very nice to skirt around the city, and to get a better idea of how it's built on the rock outcrop. You can follow the trail left of the north gate.

Lugu Lake: If you're planning to go to Lugu Lake anyway, you can consider the 3-5 day hike from here. You can then avoid the treacherously bumpy ride from Baoshan Stone City back to Lijiang, and again from Lijiang to Lugu Lake, which will take you 2 days anyway. The hostels can arrange for guides, if you'd like to do it with your own group without a guide, other people have posted instructions online. I couldn't find a hiking partner so I didn't actually do this trail.

Heartbreak

I came back to Lijiang and came to a small hotel at the recommendation of a new friend. He said the owners whom he just met 2 weeks ago are now like his parents.

The hotel turned out to be quite a heartbreak hotel.

The two owners, in their late 30s, were both in the publishing industry in Beijing. Disenchanted with their jobs, they quit 6 months ago and moved to Lijiang. They took over a small hotel and are enjoying their new-found freedom.

The male owner has the bright and forthright personality of a good Beijinger; ready to love, ready to anger. The female owner, a wise and compassionate listener. This combination quickly became a gift to travellers with all kinds of heartaches.

They said many people come to Lijiang to heal. A University freshman told them of his unrequited love on his first night of stay, rounds of jokes and drinks cheered him up they said; A man in his 30s flew to Lijiang a few days after his wife asked for a divorce, he chanced upon this hotel and poured his heart out. These are just two of the stories, and they've only been in business for 6 months.

It certainly sounds more like a Chicken-soup kind of tale. Last night though, I experienced it first-hand when the rounds of home-made dumplings and local liquor shared among a group of 5 travellers (me included) and the 2 owners, turned into a scene with a mother of a two-year-old crying her heart out on my shoulders, and the two owners repspespectively offering their tough love and gentle comforts. The scene quickly repeated itself when the other woman also sat down with the panel of 3 counsellors whom she respectively called, 老爸 Pup, 老妈 Mum and 香港人 Hong Kong person.

和順客棧
0888-8885250

Tiger Leaping Gorge and Why People Travel

Tiger Leaping Gorge, a trek that all backpackers to Yunan will do, also a trail that was part of the Ancient Tea and Horse Trail.

Didn't think I'd be doing it alone (in parts at least) But a landslide blocked the road to a hostel I was heading to, where I could have found potential hiking companions. So I ended up doing it alone, which turned out to be quite enjoyable.

At the first guesthouse. I read the entire guestbook that night. It reminded me of how travelling can be such an alternate state of mind.

"Toto:I hope that 10 years later, you will be able to read this. By then, you must have become a strong young man. I'm waiting for the day..."

"We are always on the road. What are we looking for? For me, I'm looking for that something that touches me. I'm looking for that world that can only be found in my dreams. I am looking for that one-love which I have lost and which I miss: love for one tree; love for that one gust of wind that blows through the mountains; love for this sky, sprinkled with shinning stars."

"I haven't been very happy. The future is full of uncertainties. I've lost the goals I had after a few things happened. A life without direction is terrifying. I'm starting to doubt if it is worth my efforts. I hope I can find my answers on the road. "

"I've dreamed of this trip for the longest time and finally I have arrived here. I suddenly realized, it's not a particular place that I like, I just like being on the road. I hope, I can always be on the road."

" No matter how beautiful the night sky, how bright the stars, it's so different without you around. To travel is to escape, but there's only so long you can stay away. I am not among the shinning stars that you so love..."

Is it unethical to share on the world wide web such intimate moments someone had with his/ her surroundings? But they're so poetic, I thought I'd share.

Next morning, I Woke up to this.

Naxi GuestHouse: A night's stay & dinner and breakfast = 38 yuan




Really taking my time.

Found some company later on the second day.

The other hostel with a beautiful view of the gorge. Reminds me of 夏蕙酒店 and Stella :)

It was a beautiful hike. I want to come back next time between October and May, when I 'd be able to see the two snow mountains Yulong and Haba.

Issues

Through a connection of mom's, I met up with someone who knows about local NGOs today. He told me about the NGOs operating in the area.

The most interesting one is a co-op they run, with around 200 people. They all hand in a small fee, and when anyone need financial help, eg. medical bills, the co-ops lends them money and asks them to pay it back in 6 months. When someone's house burns down for instance, all members of the co-op will go help rebuild the house, any member who doesn't show up will be charged a small fee.

Not too many people struggle to survive he said, but no main problem is education. Like all kids from farming families, parents don't want them to go to school and lose a labourer. More well-off families will rather pay the few hundred yuan of fine to keep their kids away from school. They also see how University students return and are not able to find good jobs, despite how much money their family spent on them. And by the time they return, their physical ability has declined and cannot be able labourers.

I wonder: will a different school cycle (say school only in Oct-Feb when there's no work in the farms anyway) help? And a school/ programmes targeted to the needs of farm people? Like a course in Agriculture etc. Does anyone know of good examples else where?

Will meet up with the owner of an orphanage tomorrow. Yay Babies!

More pics from Zhongdian/ Shangri-la

Shangri-la..

..or Zhongdian, was a bit disappointing at first. Lonely Planet pretty much glossed over the city, but the Chinese guidebooks raved about it. If China decided to name this city Shangri-la after looking at all its cities, this can't be it.

I soon realized though, it's not the city that should be named Shangri-la, it should be the area, it should be the Shangri-la prefecture. It's the areas I pass through between waking and sleeping, an area that is best seen hiking (I'll make an effort at this later) that is the real Shangri-la.






The lesson of the day, you'll look for the beauty when any place has a name like Shangri-la.